Friendship with Christ: Consolation and Covenant
The well-known hymn “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” is often sung with sincere devotion. Its verses express the comfort of laying down our sorrows before Christ in prayer, reminding us that we need never carry our burdens alone. Yet while the hymn has a certain sweetness, it risks presenting friendship with Christ as purely sentimental—a consoling companionship detached from covenantal demands. This reflects a wider tendency to reduce our Lord to a kind of “imaginary friend,” neglecting the majesty of the One who is both Friend and King.
The Apostles and Us
There is a difference between being with Jesus as the Apostles were, and being with Him now. They spoke with Him daily, ate at His table, and lived in a unique intimacy that flowed from their vocation. Not everything said to them is addressed in the same way to all believers. Yet the principle of divine friendship remains, offered to us by grace, though in another form.
“You Are My Friends If You Do What I Command”
Christ Himself gives the measure of this friendship: *“You are my friends, if you do the things that I command you”*¹. Friendship with Christ is not a casual familiarity but a covenantal bond. It is lived in obedience, expressed in the keeping of His commandments, and sealed in sacramental grace. To claim friendship with Him while ignoring His law is to fall into the delusion of a false intimacy.
Amicitia cum Deo
St. Thomas Aquinas teaches that charity is nothing less than amicitia cum Deo—friendship with God². Such friendship is made possible because God communicates His very life to us, raising us to share in His divine nature³. This is not the friendship of equals but the friendship of a King who stoops down to lift His servant into His household. True friendship with Christ deepens reverence rather than erasing it.
The Shape of Friendship
How then is this friendship manifested? It is seen in fidelity to the commandments⁴, in the life of prayer⁵, in the sacraments that bind us to Him⁶, in imitation of His virtues⁷, and in charity toward neighbour⁸. It is a friendship that consoles, but also one that commands. It is tender, but never sentimental.
Conclusion
The hymn is not wrong to speak of Christ as Friend. But if we think of Him merely as a kindly confidant, we dishonour His majesty. He is Friend precisely because He is Lord—the Friend who laid down His life for us⁹, who calls us to holiness, and who reigns as King of Kings¹⁰. To walk in true friendship with Him is to walk in love, obedience, and reverent communion.
- Apocalypse (Revelation) 19:16: “And he hath on his garment and on his thigh written: King of kings and Lord of lords.”
- John 15:14 (Douay-Rheims).
- Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologiae II–II, q.23, a.1.
- Cf. 2 Peter 1:4: “That by these you may be made partakers of the divine nature.”
- John 14:15: “If you love Me, keep My commandments.”
- Teresa of Avila, Life, ch. 8: prayer as “an intimate sharing between friends.”
- John 6:56: “He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, abideth in me, and I in him.”
- Matthew 11:29: “Learn of me, because I am meek, and humble of heart.”
- Matthew 25:40: “Whatsoever you do to the least of My brethren, you do to Me.”
- John 15:13: “Greater love than this no man hath, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”
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