THE ABUSE OF CONFIRMATION IN NEW YORK: CARDINAL DOLAN’S SILENCE AND THE BETRAYAL OF EPISCOPAL DUTY
The confirmation of ABC News anchor Gio Benitez at the Church of St Paul the Apostle in Manhattan has provoked widespread scandal, not only because of the event itself but because of the striking absence of any disciplinary response from Cardinal Timothy Dolan. The ceremony—celebrated for a man publicly living in a same-sex civil “marriage,” accompanied by his partner acting as sponsor—constitutes a clear violation of Catholic sacramental discipline¹. Yet the archbishop responsible for that parish has offered no admonition, no clarification, and no corrective action.
The result is a public contradiction: an egregious abuse of the sacraments on one hand, and on the other, a smiling social-media presence from a cardinal who appears unwilling to govern.
A bishop’s first duty: to guard the sacraments
The Church’s teaching on sexual morality is unequivocal. “Homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered… Under no circumstances can they be approved”². Inclination is not sin, but actions are morally grave and incompatible with Christian life³. Every person is called to chastity appropriate to their state in life⁴.
These teachings are not optional, and sacramental discipline flows from them. Canon law insists that those “who obstinately persist in manifest grave sin are not to be admitted to Holy Communion” and that confirmation requires “proper disposition”⁵. A cleric who knowingly administers sacraments to those prohibited from receiving them is subject to penalties, including suspension⁶.
What happened at St Paul the Apostle was, objectively, a punishable canonical offence.
The silence of the shepherd
Despite this, Cardinal Dolan has issued no statement addressing the scandal. No disciplinary measures have been announced. No priests have been corrected. No clarification has been offered to the faithful.
Instead, the cardinal’s public communications during the days surrounding the event consisted largely of cheerful, lighthearted “happy posts”: festive greetings, humorous selfies, benign anecdotes, and genial well-wishing. The juxtaposition was jarring. As the faithful pleaded for clarity, the archbishop of New York projected an image of jovial ease—an episcopal presence seemingly insulated from the gravity of the crisis in his own diocese.
This is not a matter of tone, but of the nature of the episcopal office. A bishop is not primarily a public personality but a guardian of doctrine, discipline, and souls. Silence in such a moment is not neutrality; it is acquiescence.
What episcopal failure looks like
Pope St John Paul II understood this gravity. When Ernesto Cardenal publicly defied Church teaching in Nicaragua, the Pope did not tweet a smiling photo; he rebuked him publicly, urging him to obey Church authority⁷. Pastoral charity demanded clarity.
Cardinal Dolan’s silence communicates the opposite. It suggests that sacramental violations do not matter, that scandal may be tolerated, and that doctrinal clarity is optional. His pastoral inaction tells priests that they may disregard canonical norms without consequence, and it tells the faithful that episcopal governance has been reduced to branding and positivity.
The pastoral harm inflicted
Most grievous is the harm done to Gio Benitez himself. To confirm a man living in a same-sex union without calling him to repentance is to bless him into spiritual peril. It is to affirm sin as identity, and identity as sacrament. This is not mercy; it is abandonment.
And what of the countless faithful Catholics—including those with same-sex attraction—who struggle heroically to live chastely? Their witness is undermined, their sacrifices trivialised, and their fidelity implicitly mocked by a hierarchy that refuses to defend the moral law in practice.
The wider crisis revealed
This event is not isolated. It exposes a deeper disease: episcopal reluctance to exercise authority when authority costs something. The Church in the West has become addicted to applause and terrified of rebuke. Yet as Cardinal Sarah has written: “People who identify as members of the LGBT community are owed this truth in charity”⁸.
To deny them that truth—by silence, by evasion, or by “affirming” sacramental abuse—is pastoral cruelty masquerading as compassion.
Conclusion: A call to episcopal courage
The scandal at St Paul the Apostle is grave, but the scandal of Cardinal Dolan’s silence is graver still. A sacramental abuse can be corrected; a soul deceived can be called to repentance. But when bishops abdicate their responsibilities—choosing cheerfulness over correction, and social-media charm over the sober vigilance of a shepherd—the Church herself is wounded.
The faithful require clarity. The priests require discipline. Gio Benitez requires truth. And Cardinal Dolan requires the apostolic courage to act.
The Church cannot be governed by “happy posts.” It must be governed by shepherds willing to defend the sacraments.
- Public documentation of the ceremony is available via footage and statements shared on social media by Gio Benitez and Fr James Martin (Instagram, X).
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2357.
- Ibid., 2358.
- Ibid., 2359.
- Code of Canon Law (1983), can. 889 §2; can. 915.
- Ibid., can. 1379 §4.
- National Catholic Reporter, “Pope Rebukes Nicaraguan Priest at Airport,” 5 March 1983.
- Robert Cardinal Sarah, “How to Address Same-Sex Attraction,” The Wall Street Journal, 30 August 2017.
Nota Bene
The Church longs for every sinner to encounter the transforming mercy of Christ, and moments such as a public Confirmation can become luminous testimonies of grace when they arise from genuine repentance and conversion. In this case, a sincere renunciation of a publicly known same-sex civil union, accompanied by a firm commitment to live in accordance with the Gospel—whether through separation or chaste living—could have opened the door to a profound and compelling witness. The Church does not demand perfection, only the humble disposition of a penitent heart ready to begin anew.
Likewise, had a sponsor been chosen who visibly embodied the life of faith the Church requires, the celebration could have offered the wider Catholic community a model of how truth and charity walk together. Thoughtful catechesis, clear moral guidance, and authentic pastoral accompaniment—affirming personal dignity while calling both men to the freedom of conversion—might have transformed this moment into a sign of hope for countless others who struggle faithfully to live the Church’s teaching in difficult circumstances.
Instead, the absence of these essential steps has turned what could have been a radiant testimony of God’s grace into a source of confusion and sorrow for many of the faithful. It was a missed opportunity—one that could have proclaimed boldly that Christ both welcomes the sinner and calls him to new life. Let us pray that future moments of pastoral care will seize such opportunities with courage, clarity, and love, so that the sacraments may again shine forth as encounters with the liberating truth of the Gospel.
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